When you hear, “That took guts” you may think someone jumped off a cliff, out of an airplane, or maybe held a snake. Those are the kinds of things I think of when I hear that something took guts. Not that someone wrote a Facebook post. But, in today’s world where we are all sharing everything virtually, it sure can apply.
Yesterday, I was inspired by a post in which someone owned up to the fact that she had gained weight back, again. She shared this for her own accountability but also to help others. She knows just how many of us have faced that reality multiple times in our lives. The struggle is real. We find a new program, we get the weight off and tell the world about it, and claim, “I am not ever going back.” For countless reasons — life challenges, a pandemic, or stress, combined with the fact that we thought the journey was over as soon as the scale read a certain number — before we know it the weight is creeping up, the excuses are plenty, the self-sabotage sets back in and we are back to hiding. All the weight and oftentimes more is back on.
With each time, the shame and guilt become heavier and take another swing at any self-confidence we had developed through feeling physically better. We are experts at beating ourselves up back to not being worthy. Each time the rabbit hole is deeper and harder to climb out of. We desperately want to not be back at square one again. The good news is that you are not really back at square one. Each time this has happened you have learned something. You may have to search for it but it is there.
Every experience in our life is an opportunity to learn more and do better with new information. The even better news is — you are not crazy, you are not weak, you are not doomed to be fat and unhealthy all of your life. There is just one key step missing in your journey. It was no surprise to me when her post was met with hundreds of others declaring, “You just described me.” My heart hurt to see all of those beautiful people struggling. I want to reach out and hug each one and tell them there is hope. It brought back years of memories for me when I would have to look my coworkers, family, and friends in the eye wondering what they thought of me because once again I failed. (I don’t like that word but it is the best description of what I felt at the time.) Even more difficult was the judgment, shame, and guilt I put on myself. There was just one key step missing. Think about it. We all have tried everything over and over again but we’re not alone. You can see it everywhere and there is a multi-billion dollar diet industry out there trying to help everyone lose weight. If all you need is one of those diets then why are so many gaining the weight back?
Shakes, pills, starvation, and even spending hours in the gym each day. We will try anything, we try it all. We even have success. (Tip: look for programs that promote real food, sleep, and water.) This is the absolute definition of insanity — keep doing the same thing over and over again expecting the same results. There is just one key step missing. You have to end your toxic relationship with food. Be honest, could you have posted a comment on my friend’s post and said, “I am in the exact same boat and still on the weight loss merry-go-round.” There is so much shame and guilt around living life overweight. If you learn to deal with feelings and emotions in a more direct manner, you could use food less to fill your emotional needs and rather simply fuel your body. Weight loss is not just about changing a number on the scale. The key step missing: You have to end your toxic relationship with food. I am excited for this woman to own her reality, releasing the shame, and sharing with others. Those are steps of someone realizing that this journey goes beyond finding a diet that works. She took the first step towards making different choices and she will get different results. That took guts.