I was blessed to have parents who not only believed in the fact that we all have choices but we have to live through the consequences of those choices. They also let me learn by my own experiences rather than preventing them. In those great teen years when I was so sure I knew everything and was ready to make my own decisions — that was undoubtedly the hardest for them. I know it was with my own young adult child. I want to save her from everything.
The summer after graduating high school I was headed off to a summer job — and freedom! I went to a local resort to work in the kitchen. The staff lived in cabins and when we were not working we were allowed to use the boats, hike or just hang out.
When I told my parents I would be packing up my car and heading out for the summer, they did an outstanding job of encouraging me to go and enjoy. But you know the face people make, the smile that says, “I love you but you are making a crazy mistake.” It wasn’t the job but they knew my car was not going to be reliable. They warned me and I did not listen.
My friend, Annie, and I got all packed up and ready to go. My parents stood in the driveway sending us off and reviewed safety rules once again about what to do if we broke down.
Then we were off. Music playing. Car full of snacks. Full tank of gas. We were excited for this new adventure with all decisions being ours and there was such a sense of freedom knowing we were in charge of it all. The choices and the consequences.
We were not even two miles from the resort when there was a loud noise. The car barely made it to the side of the road. Crap. But, here is the good thing, this opportunity forced me to figure out what to do. No parents, family or coaches there to save us. We had to assess the situation. Use the knowledge we had to resolve the situation and get back on track and that is just what we did.
Please note: what we did was have the car towed to the resort where it sat for the entire summer because it required a new transmission which I could only afford to pay for after I worked all summer.
It was a choice that delayed me reaching my goals. Do you see where I am going with this?
“What do you eat?” is one of the most common questions I am asked. I think what you really want to know is, do I still choose to eat any of the foods that I cut out in order to lose the weight. Do I eat any of the junk or comfort foods anymore? What you really want to know is can you tell yourself that one day you can have that food again. You want to be able to say that it is ok to cut it out for now because it is just temporary. I get it. I had that talk with myself on several occasions as well.
So, do I eat junk food (sugar, processed food, junk food, comfort food)? Yes, I have made the choice to eat sugar and other processed foods since I lost the weight. Heck, I even did it during my weight loss period. I do not regret my choice to do so. I don’t waste time on that emotion around food anymore.
But here is the thing, I learned so much from each experience that it has only led me to make healthier and more informed decisions as I move forward. I gain new tools, wisdom, and self-awareness with each decision. I do not expect perfection of myself (who could — food is everywhere!) but my experience has led me to the conclusion that I like to feel good so choosing the options that line up with my goals is far more advantageous than suffering foregone consequences.
You have to make your own choices and suffer your own consequences, or even better, reap your own rewards. But the decision is all up to you.