One thought. One quote. One post on Facebook. An ah-ha moment stops you in your tracks and changes your perspective. Change really can happen that fast. And it likely happens in an area of your life you have been thinking about (maybe even overthinking) for a long time, but there seems to be a piece missing that won’t allow you to make a change. And then—bam. Your perspective is altered in an instant and there is no looking back.
Recently, I was listening to a relationship development course. No, I am not in a relationship now, but I intend to be again and when our world opens up and I can date, I want to bring my best self to the table. During the course, there was a quote that started to challenge my perspective, and then a Facebook post quickly followed that sealed the deal. My mind was changed. No looking back.
When I am teaching about how I ended my toxic relationship with food I talk about loving yourself past, present, and future. That is a tall order for many of us but more than anything I am asked about how to love your past self. More specifically, how do you forgive yourself? I have not talked openly about that part as much because I know I still have work to do in that department. Apparently, I just needed a quarantine to finally make it happen.
Having a great deal of time alone to reflect can bring on some growth. I know I over-think things, I over-analyze situations. I used to deny it, but now I just own it. I truly enjoy figuring out why we make the decisions we make. I enjoy checking out human behavior and what is behind our choices.
Anyway, I’m listening to this relationship course and a session about forgiveness. And it is not just about the power of forgiving others but it is about forgiving yourself. A quote by Oprah popped up on the screen and BAM. Ready for it?
“Forgiveness is giving up the HOPE that the past could have been any different than it actually was.”
Knocked over in my seat, powered through my skin, went right to my heart, and sent a wave of WOW to my brain. There are things I hold onto because I just wish they were different. But that is never going to happen! WOW. I am still blown away at the simplicity and the obviousness of this statement but it hits me over and over again.
So, is it really that easy? It can be. With one caveat.
If you are reading this, you are likely in some sort of search mode, whether it is losing weight, ending your toxic relationship with food, or have a growth mentality that seeks to find ways of bettering yourself. Whatever place you find yourself in, you can have an ah-ha moment that will change your perspective. You may have a lot of them. But changing your actions takes time. Weight loss, ending a toxic relationship with food, learning to forgive—they are a journey and it may take hearing lessons and checking your perspective many times before it sinks in. Appreciate your ah-ha moment, write it down, tack it on your wall as a reminder—and then start doing the work.
The past is the past. You can’t change it. Who you are today is because of who you were. You are right here, right now, because of that person. Your past (good and bad) plays a role in the amazing person you are now. And I believe that even if you are sitting here reading this feeling hopeless and like you will never live the life you imagine. You can. One step, one quote, one ah-ha moment at a time.